Avoiding the Problem
by PompusRompus
Summary: First chapter contains an alternate version of what Bella and Edward do when Jacob imprints on Renesmee. Contains out of character characters and death of a character. Contains multiple chapters based on avoiding different "Wtf scenarios" in the Twilight.
1. Confronting Jacob

Just something I thought up while reading TVtropes and finding a ton of stuff that made me go "WTF?". Just thought I'd make an alternative version of this one major thing I hated. Well two of them. Edward's scene is much shorter.

* * *

 ** _Bella's Scenrio_**

Bella wasn't quite sure what to do when she found out that Jacob's nasty ass imprinting on her child and liked it and didn't mind it at all. He even gave the excuse that he sense the egg and...just ew! What made it worse was that she could have ended up having sex and then a baby with him and then her daughter and he...just the thought made her want to throw up. She wasn't sure if she wanted to attack him or hit him with one of the Cullen's car. Wait she was a Cullen. Perhaps she should respond to them by one of their names first instead of calling them "The Cullens". Anyways, if she were to, taking Roselle's car would be the best choice. She wasn't a huge fan of werewolves...uh shapeshifters and she knew the older woman well enough to know that if she "borrowed" her car to smash into Jacob, she wouldn't care. Hell she'd laugh.

She had considered doing just that but didn't find a way to do it. He always had the baby in his arms and when he didn't, he was near her. If only there was a way to get his disgusting ass outside and in a spot where she could find her mark. She thought about getting her dad to get her to teach her to shoot a gun, but then again silver bullets probably didn't work on Jacob. She'd sure as hell try though. Given that Edward couldn't read her thoughts, she could get with it...no. No she couldn't. Jacob's pack would wonder about him though she could say it was an accident. Yes. That was what she needed, but she needed help.

'What are you thinking, Bella?' She asked herself as she pretended to read a magazine in her bedroom. 'You can't kill Jacob. You know good and well you still care about him.'

'But do you want to go through 7 years thinking about how he can't wait to be with her once she turns 18?' agrued a small part of her. 'How she can't pick her own mate because of Jacob's nasty ass? This isn't the middle ages or country where arranged marriages are done, hun.'

'Then what can we do?'

'Leave.'

'How? Alice can see me, remember?'

'Use your head, Bells,' Bella sat there for a moment thinking and then she came up with something to which the other voice congratulated her. Then Bella called herself crazy for having a second voice, but pushed the questioning of the voice in the back of her head in order to set off and get what she needed done.

She quickly packed up her daughter's things as well her own before cramming them in her car. Afterwards, she found Alice watching TV with the others and asked her if she could come with her. Alice met outside and Bella jumped straight to the point. "I'm getting the hell outta here and if you tell anyone, I'll go on a hunting spree for human blood, got it?" She hadn't meant that last part and hoped Alice didn't think she was bluffing.

"What?" Alice's eyes widened at the woman's words. "You're leaving? But why?"

"One word: Jacob," she responded. "I refuse to have him dating my daughter!"

Alice tried her best to reason with Bella, telling her that Jacob would go looking for them and Edward sure as heck would. Bella assured her that she would email Edward and meet up with him until she could shake Jacob off her trail. Alice mentioned the werewolf would ask where she was, but the raven haired woman told her to just lie which didn't make her sister-in-law very comfortable. She doesn't lie about her visions and if she did, she was afraid she was going to lose someone's trust or more than one person's trust. The younger woman didn't care. She was too worried about her daughter not getting a choice in who she ends up with. She wanted her kid to be able to pick her own mate like she did with Edward.

"Are you **_sure_ ** you want to do this?" asked Alice placing both of her hands on her shoulders.

"I'm sure. As long as **_you_ ** keep your mouth shut, we'll be fine."

"But what if...?"

"If it's about Jacob, I really don't care. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get my daughter."

* * *

 _ **Edward's Scenario**_

"So can I call you dad?" grinned Jacob, all the while saying this playfully. The two men looked at each other and they shared a laugh before Edward snapped Jacob's neck.

"Thank you for saving me the trouble of ripping him apart," said Bella as she kissed her husband's cheek.

"Anytime. I've been wanting to do that since the moment I met that mutt," said Edward feeling happier than the day he married his wife. "'Can I call you dad?' Fuck outta here, punk."

* * *

Say what you wanna say about the whole imprinting thing, but I think it's nasty and that's the moment where I started disliking Jacob. I would have liked it better if Jacob would have just cared for the kid like an uncle and just have that be their relationship for the rest of their lives and give Bella's daughter a love interest that's like her.


	2. Crazy Lady

Lionnara- I can see why you'd say that. It gets more disturbing in my opinion when you think about the fact that Bella and Jacob could have had sex (with Bella doing it out of pity for one night), produced Bella's daughter, and he would have ended up imprinting on his own kid. After all, the author did say he sensed the egg inside of her.

Reviewer no Kage- He did especially with how Bella treats him through the series until the last book. In my opinion, she played with his feelings too much and made it seem like he had a chance. Would have been easier if the books ended with Bella having both of them, but even if she could have two husbands, someone would end up being killed at the end of the day.

* * *

New Moon was a boring ass book with the only thing good in it being Jacob. That's pretty much all I have to say. Well besides if it were anyone else or any other series, we probably wouldn't see Jacob again or he'd be there every once in a while since in my opinion he serves no purpose than to be eye candy and a 2nd unnecessary love interest when it's pretty clear who Bella isn't leaving Edward thus giving people false hope he was a possibility. She put herself in dangerous situations just to see "Edward" for goodness sake.

* * *

"Charlie, I'm worried about Bella," confessed Jacob one afternoon. Bella was up in her bedroom, hopefully not doing anything except reading or homework.

"What's the matter?" He asked.

"She...she's gone crazy," He then told him about how the teenager was constantly doing particularly risky things that could have easily gotten her killed if not for a combination of luck and Jacob being there to save her. Charlie was distressed hearing such things about his child and was glad Jacob had come along and told him. Jacob agreed with him that it was most likely due to Edward leaving her that caused her to act this way. There was only one thing to do now: get her to therapy and fast before it was too late.

When Jacob left, he went upstairs to find his daughter about to hang herself. She was standing on a chair with a string of Christmas lights around her neck and trying to get it around the ceiling fan.

"Bella!" He shouted before he realized that was a bad idea. Startled, she nearly fell over and he caught her before she could fall and crack her skull on the dresser.

"D-dad! I was just..." Bella didn't get the chance to finish her sentence when he began yelling at her.

"Are you crazy?! You...you...!" He wasn't quite sure what to say himself to his only child. If he had been any later, he would have walked in on his kid's corpse hanging from the ceiling fan and all this over a boy. He knew that guy was no good though deep down he found it silly his child would try killing herself over a boy especially **_him_**.

Bella on the other hand didn't care what her father thought or even heard what little he said. Right now she was too busy listening to her beloved Edward's voice as he was the one telling her off. Ever since she discovered the next best thing was a hallucination of her boyfriend, she put herself in these kinds of situations that resulted in her near death, the only way Edward even bothered showing up even if he wasn't real. She couldn't tell her father that. He'd just think she was crazy!

"I can't believe I almost lost you," said Charlie once he found his voice. "How could you do this to me? To yourself!"

"I wasn't going to die," She said and leaving it at that. Like I said, she didn't want him thinking she had lost her mind. She was merely going to pretend to do it and quickly take it back so the vampire would appear once more.

"You weren't going to...what?" He said confused and furious at the same time. "You were going to prank me or something?!"

"Sure. You got me," She said this in a somewhat sarcastic tone which wasn't intended and luckily her father didn't pick up on it.

"If that was a prank, it was a sick one! I'm taking you to a therapist! Jacob told me that you were constantly trying to get yourself killed!" Bella mentally cursed Jacob. "It's clear now you need the help. I won't have my child dying over some bull!"

"And Jacob told you that too, right?" snapped the young woman. "That I was trying to kill myself because Edward left?"

"No. I figured it out on my own," He frowned and unwrapped the lights from around her neck. "And no more school for you. You might jump in front of a car. Again."

" _ **That** _ was an accident!"

* * *

As it turned out, making Bella go to a therapist was a horrendous idea. A few people had told him on her way there, she swerved and just barely missed them during the time she was on her way there. Another reported her going down the opposite lane and nearly creating an accident if she hadn't switched back to her lane. He then drove her himself and even then was bad as she unlocked her door, opened it, and tried to jump out of the car. She even tried getting a rabid raccoon crossing the street to bite her, but it ignored her. When she was finally in the therapist office, she'd try picking a fight with the man or ask him to rough her up for just a minute or two.

Charlie hung on tight to the belief that he could get Bella to normal, but he failed every time and she refused the help she was being offered. There was one thing to do now. Well two but that was illegal and he didn't feel like losing his job just to force Edward back to Forks. In the end, he had Bella committed to a mental institution. Jacob wasn't a fan of the idea, but if it kept her from being stupid, he'd go along with it for now. It'd give her time to think and she got out, maybe their relationship could go somewhere. If Edward came back, he'd lie, the vampire would leave, and he'd have Bella all to himself. Selfish yes, but at least he wouldn't leave the poor girl.

* * *

In New Moon, Bella does some stupid crap to get "Edward" to appear like jumping off a cliff and some other things. I know she doesn't do much of it around Jacob (I think), but I only had it that way for story telling reasons.

And it just occurred to me that given how way after Bella jumps from a cliff, Alice comes along because she thinks Bella could be dead because she saw her jump. If she actually got thrown into an asylum, there'd be nobody to save Edward and he'd die unless someone else went after him. Now that I think about it, what was everyone else doing? Did they not know Edward was trying to get killed besides Alice and maybe Jasper? Plus Bella herself would probably get crazier seeing she can't do anything dangerous or dumb to see Edward again.

* * *

Next scene involves something revolving around Charlie's reaction to Jacob transforming. If you're not okay with boyxboy, don't read it. Just a head's up.


	3. Baby Daddy Problems

I know I said Jacob and Charlie, but I felt the need to write this first. Charlie and Jacob next I promise.

* * *

This had to be the happiest day of his life besides his marriage to Bella. Today was the day he officially became a father. He actually hadn't expected any of this to happen and even to this day he still had to pinch himself to remind him that he wasn't dreaming. Bella had chosen him over Edward and, as a bonus, she told him yes when he proposed. It felt like it was just yesterday when he was fighting for Bella's affection and thought it was losing battle. He told himself not to question anything since whenever he did question it, Bella would get offended about him questioning her love for him. Luckily for her, he did stop eventually.

Without Edward in the picture and a wedding ring on Bella's finger, his life was perfect. It was even more so now that their daughter was born. Speaking of their daughter, when would Rosalie hand over their kid? He was the father for Pete's sake and the only people who had held the kid were Bella and her. He should have at least been the second one, not the third. He really didn't get why she was here anyways. It seemed like ever since Edward and Bella split, Rosalie and Bella got along more and become closer. Too bad the vampire didn't extend the same attitude towards him as she still treated him hostile. Maybe he should stop with the blonde jokes.

"Rosalie, stop hogging Carly," said Bella as if she had read her husband's thoughts. "Jacob hasn't held her yet."

"'Oh right sorry," The vampire reluctantly handed over the baby to Jacob.

Jacob only held the baby for 2 minutes before he realized something. "Shit."

"What? What's wrong? Did she use her diaper?"

"I would have smelled it if she had. I don't think that's what he means."

"What does he mean then?" Bella looked confused.

One look at Jacob told Rosalie all she needed to know. "How the hell did that happen?!"

"I-I don't know and trust me, I don't fucking like it either!"

"What? What's going on?" Bella began to panic a little. Neither of them were telling her anything and she was started to get worried it had something to do with her baby.

"He imprinted."

"On me? I'm his wife so..." Rosalie just shook her head.

"On you?!"

"Hell no, thank God!"

"Who th-...how!? SHE'S YOUR DAUGHTER!"

"I KNOW!"

"Good thing you aren't Jasper," Rosalie couldn't help but to smirk. "I'd be thinking up a ton of incest jokes."

"Shut up, Rosalie."

"I know how to fix this." She said as Jacob gave the baby to Bella.

"You can't take it back, dumbass." Jacob said bitterly.

"You're right. But I can kill you."

Jacob blinked. "Are you serious?"

"Yep."

"Rosalie..." It was too late, she had already went for his throat and killed Jacob. Bella could only scream in horror as her husband was murdered right in front of her and the baby. "ROSALIE STOP!"

"I stopped 5 seconds ago," she said wiping her mouth.

"What's going on...OH MY GOD!" screamed the nurse.

"CALL THE COPS!" yelled Bella. "She's crazy!"

"Shit," she took off running out of the room. She regretted nothing.

* * *

So Meyers explained the only reason Jacob was attracted to Bella was because he sensed the egg inside of her. Although I know if she had gotten with Jacob, she wouldn't have written that or come up with that insane reason. Going by the explanation, if he sensed the egg and was attracted to it, no matter who the father is, Jacob was going to get with it. Fucking gross.

Also I know Rosalie wouldn't do what she did. Calm down.


End file.
